Jeff Bezos Blue Origin memes: Meet the ‘dong rocket’

Blue Origin's New Shepard rocket heads skyward with Bezos aboard.

Joe Raedle/Getty Images

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos successfully rocketed to the edge of space and back on Tuesday, and declared that the event had made for his "Best. Day. Ever." Bezos, his brother Mark, aeronautics legend Wally Funk and 18-year-old Oliver Daemen flew on a New Shepard rocket, landing safely in the West Texas desert after a trip of eight-plus minutes.

Bezos was the second billionaire businessman in just nine days to head to space, with Virgin Galactic's Richard Branson beating Bezos.

Branson's launch inspired plenty of memes and jokes, and Bezos' trip did the same. Be forewarned: Jokes about private parts await those who continue reading... CNET Culture

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Shape of the ship

Bezos and crew rode in what CNET's Jackson Ryan calls a "gumdrop-shaped capsule," lifted by a rocket called a New Shepard. "Gumdrop" is a sweet descriptor, but when the capsule sat atop the rocket, plenty of people saw a less family-friendly form.

"There are sometimes signs that people working for a rich/powerful person have utter contempt for their boss," wrote one Twitter user. "The dong rocket is one of those signs."

There are sometimes signs that people working for a rich/powerful person have utter contempt for their boss. The dong rocket is one of those signs.

-- thelaundry (@thelaundrykcstl) July 20, 2021

Another user referred to a mohel, or the person who takes care of ritual Jewish circumcisions.

And the weenie references didn't stop there...

??Congratulations on you penis rocket now pay your taxes ??

-- Molly Jong-Fast (@MollyJongFast) July 20, 2021

I'm super busy today writing a country song about how my wife left me so I'm running away from my taxes in a dick shaped rocket.

-- Kellywise the Clown? (@KellywiseClown) July 20, 2021

The space penis is aloft

-- Drew Magary (@drewmagary) July 20, 2021

Jeff Bezos makes a dong rocket as the ultimate form of compensation. Guys with lifted trucks everywhere: NOT THAT SMALL NOW, IS IT?!

-- Dude_Abides (@traininsane17) July 20, 2021

Fast track

Some jokes centered on the fact that Bezos and his group spent very little time actually up in the air, landing in under 10 minutes.

"Wake me up when Bezos spends as much time in space as a dog," wrote writer Alex Shephard, referring to Soviet space dog Laika.

The duration of that Blue Origin flight was ... approximately one Quibi.

-- David Gura (@davidgura) July 20, 2021

Sci-fi movie plot

Others envisioned Bezos' flight as the first scene of a sci-fi movie, such as Planet of the Apes. "Oh no, what if Jeff Bezos travels through time and lands on a future earth ravaged by humanity's ignorance," snarked writer Dave Itzkoff.

oh no what if jeff bezos travels through time and lands on a future earth ravaged by humanity's ignorance

-- Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) July 20, 2021

11 minutes is more than long enough for everyone at the landing site to change into monkey costumes. Not saying they should do this, but... they should do this.

-- Max Kennerly (@MaxKennerly) July 20, 2021

The end of The Planet of the Apes but it's just Bezos landing near forest fires out of control

-- Matt S (@MattSeg09) July 20, 2021

For better or for space

And some brought Bezos' ex-wife, Mackenzie Scott, into the picture.

"Hard to imagine a better divorce outcome than getting 50 billion dollars and then your ex literally leaves the planet," wrote one Twitter user.

hard to imagine a better divorce outcome than getting 50 billion dollars and then your ex literally leaves the planet

-- muscle skoals (@MuscleSkoals) July 19, 2021

On this monumental day of Jeff Bezos going to space, I'd like to offer a hearty congratulations to his ex-wife, MacKenzie Scott, who's realizing the dream of every woman who's ever wished her ex would fall off the face of the planet; you're living the dream, girl.

-- Jess the Prequel ?Cougar on the Prowl ?? (@JessthePrequel) July 20, 2021

Bezos going to space is like that episode of Bob's Burgers where Teddy tries to show off his boat to his ex-wife

-- Arq (@CryptArq) July 20, 2021

Well Jeff Bezos flight was over pretty quick.

Ex-wife: The things I could tell you.

-- _JustMarie (@mooseandriosmom) July 20, 2021